Thursday, May 12, 2011

Before redshirting for kindergarten, consider this...

If you're not familiar with the term "redshirting" with regard to kindergarten, it's when a child qualifies to attend, but his or her parents decide to delay his entry by a year.  I'm not aware of the exactly limitations, but in my experience, there are seven-year-olds in kindergarten. 

Let me preface this by saying I haven't had children that made me question their readiness for kindergarten.  So this is a little like a mom of a six-month-old proclaiming to the world that she'll never feed her little one chicken nuggets.  Yeah, report back on that in 18 months.  We'll see how strongly you feel about it then.  But I digress...

I've had a few interactions with kids who fell into the redshirted category and I'm just not a believer.  In talking with their parents, here's what I hear:

"He's just not mature enough."

"He's just so small."

"He isn't solid enough in the basics like letters and numbers."

"He just turned five.  I don't want him to be the youngest in the class."

"Socially, he's struggling."

I don't mean to suggest it's only boys dealing with redshirting.  Weirdly though, my only encounters have been with boys.  We all know this applies to girls as well.

I was talking with parents of a redshirted kindergartener recently and they went on and on about how their son wasn't mature enough last year, had difficulties academically and socially and they just thought holding him back a year at home would be the solution.  Now they have a seven-year-old kindergartener who is no less than 6 inches taller and 10 pounds heavier than the rest of the class.  His maturity, social, and academic issues feel a lot more like a developmental delay or learning disability.  He's a sweet kid who is very loving, but his behaviors mimic a child who is more like three-years-old.  My heart hurts for him because it feels to me like he missed out on a full year's worth of services that may have been offered to him if he had entered the school system at the appropriate age.  True, he may still be in kindergarten this year due to being held back, he at least this go-round would have a higher chance of being successful.  Now, at age seven, how will he feel if he's held back this year?  Think it'll be socially easy for him to be eight and in kindergarten?

Using "he's so small" feels like code to me for "he'll be bigger in high school when athletics are important."  And the flip side of this is that if he has a growth spurt, like most kids do, he'll eventually be the biggest in his class - and how is that more socially acceptable than being among the smallest?

This is purely my opinion, but I believe there should be an evaluation required of all parents who opt to start their child in kindergarten on a delayed schedule.  You don't want her go because you don't think she's mature enough?  Prove it to the administration.  Let them tell you if she's ready or not.  And if not, then she should get help in getting her ready, perhaps even including her in the classroom in the second half of the year.   If she is ready, put her in or show proof of homeschooling.  Have a little faith that everyone is concerned about how well their child will do and we all get choked up when we send our babies through the big front doors of the elementary school. 

So if you're considering redshirting, consider this before making that final decision.  If you're doing so due to maturity, size, academic, or social issues, could this delay ultimately be harmful?  Have you talked to your child's doctor about it?  And have you considered what kindergarten will be like for your seven-year-old when he or she is classmates with young five-year-olds?  The gap between those ages, both in size and development, is pretty big.  I've often wondered how it would work out for schools to construct kindergarten classes based on age. 

If you've redshirted, tell me about your experience.  I don't judge because I fully believe we all do our best to make the best decisions possible for our kids, so no need to feel like you have to defend yourself.  I'd just like to learn more about this growing trend.

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