Sunday, February 20, 2011

Grudges are like boulders

Today in church, our second and third graders put on a play, where each of them held "heavy" boulders and talked about the weight associated with holding grudges.  As I listened, I thought about how I could review this message with my girls and ask for ways it applied to their worlds when it hit me - I'm the one weighed down by a grudge right now.

The details aren't important, but I'm in a situation where someone's behavior has bothered me more than I should have let it.  Literally, my family can't wait for this situation, which is coming to an end, is over just so I'll get my normal level of blood pressure back.  I would refer to many interactions with this person as toxic.  Many chances have been given.  There have been fresh starts that keep going wrong.  Have I been holding a grudge?  In the great words of Sarah Palin, you betcha.  Has it been weighing me down.  Heck yes.

This afternoon, at a birthday party, another party-goer asked to trade favor toys with my daughter.  She, excited about the possibility of a new friendship, agreed.  Three steps away from the exchange, she held an obviously broken toy in her hand.  Do I think there was ill-intent on the party of the trade initiator?  You betcha.  Did my daughter carry her hurt feelings and anger well beyond the end of this party?  Heck yes.

We've all heard the expression, "turn the other cheek."  And while I don't typically disagree with the bible, I am going to with my own interpretation on this one.  I think by turning the other cheek, we're giving someone a second chance to do the right thing.  When they don't and we have no more cheeks to offer, it isn't necessary to keep allowing them to hurt us.  Yet, it's not healthy to carry that grudge.  So what's the middle ground here?  Forgive and forget?  I wish I was better at that.  So how about forgive and move on?  If that leaves some behind, so be it.  Pray for them.  Wish them the best, and mean it.  Go forward.  Sometimes, as quickly as possible.  Run.  Fast, if you must.  :-)

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